The Smooth Brain Test

The score is worked out in your browser and never leaves it. Nothing is stored. Format borrowed, with affection, from the Rice Purity Test.

You start at 100. Every tick takes two points off. The list gets worse as it goes on.

The lower your score, the more of a degenerate you are.

Ticked 0 of 50. Running score 100 / 100.

1.Bought crypto because a group chat treated silence like a personal attack
2.Googled "is it too late to buy bitcoin" after it had already doubled
3.Checked a chart before you checked if anyone in the bed was awake
4.Said you were "just here for the technology" with a straight face
5.Own a wallet you opened for a reason you can no longer reconstruct
6.Zoomed out on a red candle until it looked like a healthy dip
7.Drew a trendline to launder a decision you had already made
8.Trusted a chart posted by an anime girl with forty followers
9.Opened TradingView at a wedding, a funeral, or in the delivery room
10.Bought a coin because the logo looked like it would hurt the shorts
11.Aped a launch before the website had finished loading
12.Market-bought something a guy named after a Greek statue told you to buy
13.Joined a Telegram with a rocket, a diamond, and a slur in the title
14.Paid for a signals group and called it tuition
15.Still hold a bag whose entire thesis is "it might come back"
16.Used a JPEG as a personality
17.Right-clicked one for the bit, then bought one for real
18.Did every whitelist task, including the ones that felt like a cult
19.Minted at 3am because a Discord ping said "last chance"
20.Paid more in gas than the mint was ever worth on its best day
21.Owned a profile picture that outpriced the car you actually drive
22.Hold an NFT whose image is now a broken rectangle
23.Own an NFT worth less than the gas to get it off the wallet
24.Been rug pulled and typed "this is fine"
25.Been rug pulled by the same team under a new animal mascot
26.Approved a contract the way people accept cookie banners
27.Had a wallet drained and then checked if it was a display bug
28.Used leverage
29.Typed 100x on purpose, with your whole chest
30.Been liquidated
31.Been liquidated for five figures and kept the screenshot
32.Been liquidated for six figures and told the story like a war medal
33.Added margin to a loser so the liquidation could take more of you
34.Checked a chart during a date and called it a notification
35.Traded from a hospital waiting room
36.Shaved a loss down before telling a partner, a parent, or a friend
37.Said you were "up" on a number that had not been sold
38.Traded money that was earmarked for rent, a deposit, or a person
39.Kept trading after the version of you that still had rules had left
40.Shilled a bag to your timeline while the ask sat on your screen
41.Shilled a mint you were already allocated in for free
42.Got paid to post "not financial advice" and posted it
43.Sniped your own community's launch and called it alpha
44.Farmed an airdrop with a wallet count you would not say out loud
45.Wash traded a token so the chart would look like a crowd
46.Bundled a coin and sold it into the people who believed the thread
47.Rug pulled somebody
48.Paid in crypto because a receipt would have been a problem
49.Moved money to a cause your bank would have asked questions about
50.Ticked the bottom ten of this list faster than the top ten

Ticked 0 of 50. Running score 100 / 100.

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